(via youaskeditold)
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
- Me: Hello?
- Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
- Me: I have no mother.
- Her: Well can I speak to your father?
- Me: Yeah, which one?
- Her: Which one is home?
- Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
- Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
- Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
- Her: So who's Antonio?
- Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
- Her: So Carlos was cheating?
- Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
- Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
- Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
- Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
- Me: I never said that.
- Her: Yes, yes you did!
- Me: No I didn't.
- Her: Y-yes! You did!
- Me: Did what?
- Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
(Source: fuckyeahbvelasco, via b-eautifulmess)
(via light-upthe-stars)
(Source: spiritualinspiration, via whimsical-daydreamer)
(Source: alaska-wilde, via youaskeditold)
(Source: foreveryounglwwy, via light-upthe-stars)
(Source: serialstranger, via light-upthe-stars)
xx
(via light-upthe-stars)
(Source: thetextpostsfromhell, via slowconversationswith-a-gun)
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
(via shewritesaboutyou)
HAVE YOU EVER JUST REALLY WANTED TO KISS SOMEONE BUT YOU CANT
(Source: g-y-p-s-y-h-e-a-r-t-s, via thinkwithyurheart)
(Source: cumdmpster, via nokindofhome)
